I care about privacy. I believe in transparency and I’m committed to being upfront about this sites privacy practices, including how I treat your personal information I know you care about your privacy too, so hopefully you will find this Privacy Policy to be concise, transparent, intelligible and easily accessible.

TL:dr

I’m a busy parent to 3 lovely daughters, husband to an amazing wife and I also work full time, I simply don’t have the time or energy to do anything nefarious with your data. It’s not that I’m not evil – I’m as corruptible as anyone – I’m just too tired to think up a malevolent plot to steal your identity.

This site will collect and store the info I need to provide you with the best website experience i can.

Cookies

Seriously who actually cares? Do you even know what a cookie is or does? Well then. Yes I use cookies because that’s kinda how the Internet works. If you don’t want my delicious home-baked chocolate chip scripts, then you need to block cookies on your browser but don’t come crying to me when nothing does what it’s supposed to.

Stalky visitor tracking

I use Google Analytics, primarily to stare at the real time stats because they’re cool but also to see what stuff people are looking at so I can write more of the stuff you like.

I also use Google reCAPTCHA to prevent those pesky bots from crawling all over my website and spamming my inbox.

None of these things store any super personal data about you but probably will nab your IP address. All I see is that a person or many people have interacted with the website in a particular way. You can mess with me by doing something totally unexpected on the website and skewing the stats. Or you could do something way more fun and useful with your time LIKE WRITING.

Data storage

Here on this website! If you use the contact form I will store your name, email address and the message you sent. I obviously go to the maximum effort to keep this data secure and only two people have access to it. Only one of them ever actually looks at it and that’s to solve any technical problems you might have.

Your right to be deleted

If you want to go undercover, just fill in a request using this contact form and I’ll delete all the info I have on you from our systems while having a passive aggressive huff about what I could have possibly done wrong.

This does not include PayPal. If you want to delete your PayPal accounts you have to do that yourself via PayPal. I cannot delete your purchase history because the taxman will be terribly upset.

Social Media

I use social media a lot, partly to promote my blog but mostly as a vehicle for my creative technical opinions. If you talk to me on one platform and we become friends, I might find you on Twitter and say hello. You can ask me to be less friendly if you wish and I will of course respect your boundaries.

You are not required to follow my social media accounts. If you would like to though you can find links on the right of this page.

Privacy Policy Disclaimer

With thanks to Writers’ HQ, our supreme writing commanders, glorious leaders and excellent but tiny overlords, who have verily granted me permission to use their splendid and sweary Privacy Policy.

Social Media Links